The Daily Mail
The daily mail I hate you so
I have to write to let you know.
That strip of shame on your web site,
You know, the column on the right?
Where women are apparently meant to go
To find interesting things we ought to know
Things like “kim has lost 56 pounds”
Your investigative journalism knows no bounds
What a shame this isn’t the USA
Pulitzer Prize; straight away
I don’t give a fuck who is in a White bikini
Or who has got fat when they used to be teeny.
Tell me something interesting please
Not which poor girl has thighs like cheese.
Oh Daily Mail I’d dearly like you to meet
Me and my pals in a darkened street.
There we’d give you something to say
About women in the present day.
Where women are complex, clever, kind and rude,
Where they care about more than who looks good.
The editorial policy of Femail must be set
By a teenage boy or boys I bet.
How else to explain your fascination
With the Victoria Secret angels of every nation
Why do you think women are shallow and thick?
Your articles often make me sick.
The printed edition is not much better
I suspect they will not publish this letter.