Rizzo’s Rule

What’s the worst thing I could do?

Grease is a marvellous movie, I used to know all the words, and the character I wanted to be most of all was chief Pink Lady, Rizzo. Sandy was not for me; she was a saccharine, simpering twit and although she looks fabulous in those black shiny trousers at the end you just know she is a girl who doesn’t know how to have fun.

Rizzo, however, she was a woman of the world and had the best songs of the movie in my opinion. Even her real name, Stockard Channing was great.
As you may know her “Look at me I’m Sandra Dee” is a sort of homage to anaesthetists, but her other song is surely meant for surgeons. There are worse things I could do, lyrics are here, has the brilliant line “that’s the worst thing I could do”.

Before you start every operation and during each stage of an operation you should ask yourself, much like Rizzo does “what’s the worst thing I could do?”

Let’s take a laparoscopic cholecystectomy:

Port insertion: Rizzo says “you could stick it straight on through, pop the colon, spread some poo”

Calot’s triangle: Rizzo has a lot to say here

“You could fuck the CBD,
take the right hepatic artery.
Stick a grasper in the liver,
make it bleed just like a river,
with no IOC to bail you out,
how your boss will scream and shout,
hepaticojejunostomy…”

Another way of doing the same thing is by naming and preparing for your enemy. Guddling about under the right colon: the enemy is inadvertent damage to the ureter and duodenum. It’s all the same thing that Rizzo says.

Think about it, then don’t do it. Don’t be scared to do an operation but know what you could do wrong and avoid it. Rizzo wasn’t scared of anything either.

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