Tabloid Tits

Goodness what a fuss has been made this week regarding the British institution of Page 3. American readers may not be familiar with Page 3, it is not the sort of thing you would have over there for sure. In “The Sun” newspaper, the UK’s most widely read tabloid, there is a topless “beauty” featured on Page 3, known as a Page 3 girl. They are usually called Nikkala, Becci, Jaqqui or some other variation and we only know their first name and age, as well as their thought on that day’s pertinent news issue. For example “Nikkala, 21 from Loughborough says why can’t we all just get along and muslims do what they want and we will do what we want?” Insightful stuff.

The Sun is owned by Rupert Murdoch and this week he pulled Page 3, there were no nipples, no naked ladies. He also owns The Times (which is his newspaper for clever people) which informed us that Page 3 was gone, only for it to return on Thursday. White van man, generally thought of as the typical British male, was sad at the disappearance of the tits and most relieved when they came back. “What’s the harm? It’s just a bit of fun? It’s harmless innit?” said most white van men everywhere.

Then the nation came over all prudish when Rita Ora, a pop star had on a low cut top at 7pm, viewers were apparently shocked and the BBC fucking well apologised for it! Now, I have no issue with Miss Ora going on TV in a low cut top, she has fabulous tits and she has every right to look how she wishes on TV within the constraints of what is socially acceptable. The daily mail of course were outraged and led the tutting. How dare those prudish morons at the BBC apologise for what an adult woman wore, she looked great, she isn’t a poltician she is a singer, she looked appropriate and sexy.

I hate Page 3. I hate that patients of mine will have The Sun opened at Page 3 when I do a ward round, I feel it is rude and derogatory. I hate that the doctors mess buys The Sun and that there are tits out during my tea break. I love breasts, I think they are fabulous, I am all for seeing them on TV in great little white suits and in the flesh either popping out of sexy tops and looking hot or feeding babies and pouring milk all over the place. I love mine, I love my friends boobs, they are fabulous things, I can see why men obsess about them.

But, I want tits attached to women, to real people, breasts that are there because they part of a woman and thus controlled by her. I object to Rupert Murdoch’s slightly too plump to be a real model girls gratuitously placed on Page 3 for no other reason other than to titillate men. These are women who have no purpose, she isn’t advertising or selling something, the point is none other than to say “look boys, here are breasts”. It’s so juvenile, so dated to say that this is feminism and equality and that Page 3 girls are “empowered” by showing their bodies. What guff, Madonna showing her breasts is empowered or Rita Ora in a low cut top, this is a woman enjoying looking good. Page 3 is sad, seedy, demeans women and makes men look silly.

So, I hope tomorrow morning brings no more Page 3, but that’s not to to say I don’t love seeing breasts.

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6 thoughts on “Tabloid Tits

  1. Ha ha…I cringe …and then laugh every time someone equates nakedness/ near- nakedness/ or the so called right-to-wear-what-we-want fashion with women’s empowerment… Ha ha… we are just playing into the perverse hands of the very people we are taking a stand against. There is so much more we could be doing…and honestly… the day I bare even 25% of the amount of skin that some celebs do on a daily basis, I would cease to be anything more than the skin I show- my intellect, skills, morals, virtues would stand no chance of being seen or appreciated…. the man/ woman standing in front of me would only see the cleavage or whatever other nether region is almost- shoved into their faces!

    But then, at the end of the day, to each their own. If your worth is to be measured by the aesthetics of your “titties” or the sumptuousness of your “booty”, it is a choice you make. Live and let live I say!

      • Yep…same thing happens when I spot a butt-crack at a supermarket when a woman wearing low-rise, odd- fitting jeans bends… or when I see a lady wearing lingerie in the gym, everything out and giggling on the treadmill… I feel all of woman- species are represented by them..and hence we are all stared at… the men thinking “does she also look like that underneath….???” I end up feeling naked even though I’m fully clothed!

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