You know how beauty editors are always writing or commissioning articles about the 5 things you shouldn’t leave home without and then go on to name 5 obscure products that clearly you could manage fine without, like Chanel anti-shine papers or an eyebrow brush. This is not like that.
I often struggled with those tricky quizzes in magazines for teenaged girls (which now don’t exist anymore as they all just tweet and follow people) about which single make up item I would take on a desert island.
Just Seventeen magazine assured me that my choice of lipstick meant I was “organised and didn’t like kissing” or some other shite. I read this rubbish for a few years and then moved onto “more” magazine which featured a ridiculous feature called position of the fortnight and was mostly read by 14 year olds who thought using tampons meant you weren’t a virgin anymore. Kids nowadays don’t know what they are missing!
I have now discovered which item I cannot live without. We have been away on holiday for half term and I brought all the usual stuff with me, but I failed to bring my tweezers. No amount of touché éclat and bronzer can compete with the humble tweezer.
I have discovered that no woman the wrong side of 35 should be without her tweezers for 7 days. Last night at 11pm I stood, starkly illuminated plucking out the weird and stray eyebrow and chin hairs (chin hairs-what the fuck???!!) that had sprung up like bloody toadstools all over my face. Never again, I am going nowhere without them.